It is day two of our end of year review, and it is time for the worst films of the year. And let’s be honest there has been some real trash this year. Now at the time of writing I haven’t quite seen all the films that I’m going to this year (There’s still Collateral Beauty and Monsters Trucks to see) and I haven’t seen everything that has come out, in fact I have missed more bad looking films than I have good. It is also important to note that this is a list of the worst (not most disappointing as that’s a separate list) films of 2016.
5) Gods of Egypt – It was a tough call for the last place on this list between this and the Independence Day sequel. Neither film is good, but at least Independence Day had 2 or 3 interesting new or returning characters. Gods of Egypt was just bland, predictable, and full of incredibly poor and hard to follow action sequences. I’m normally a bit of a sucker for slightly rubbish fantasy action, so for there to be nothing really redeeming about the film to even me is pretty bad. Oh yeah and it white washed the hell out of the cast, something which surely studios are going to have to realise is only hurting their films sooner rather than later. Review.
4) The Girl On The Train – I don’t think there was a film I found it harder to get through that The Girl on the Train. The only reason it isn’t lower on this list is Emily Blunt’s amazing performance. I don’t think you will ever see a better performance in such a terrible film. The pace of the film was so slow that it dragged horribly, whilst nothing of interest was going on. It may be just under 2 hours long, but it felt like a week. Emily Blunt might be a great actress, but she needs to start picking some better projects. Review.
3) Mechanic: Resurrection – Boy oh boy was this a shockingly bad piece of film making. Jason Statham doesn’t tend to make the best films in the world, but they’re not usually as uninteresting as The Mechanic: Resurrection. The acting is bad, the story and dialogue is appalling, and most criminally the action sequences are boring. How does Jason Statham make a film with boring action sequence? My friend who loves these kind of B list action films fell asleep in the final act of the film. At least Tommy Lee Jones managed to produce one of the strangest performances of the year, it was just bizarre and nearly laugh out loud bad? Review.
2) Alice Through The Looking Glass – I didn’t dislike the first Alice in Wonderland film as much as a lot of people did. But this sequel is truly horrible. The CGI is just no longer impressive so isn’t their to distract you from the horrible grating performances. Jonny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter and Sasha Baron Cohen all adopt annoying speech impediments that I can still only think was a fairly inappropriate attempt at humour. Even Mia Wasikowska, and the talented voice cast alongside her really can save this one. Hopefully this is the film that killed the franchise dead in its tracks. Review.
1) Nine Lives – If we just talking about what was categorically the worst film I’ve seen all year then the answer has to be Nine Lives. I’m not sure there was anything good about the film. But it also wasn’t quite bad enough to become entertaining in a laugh out loud at how bad it is kind of way. The story is boring and clichéd, despite getting some good actors involved they were all terrible, the effects looked appalling, and the jokes weren’t funny. This film should have been an absolute mess, with hilariously bad puns flying everywhere. Instead it was just a mess, and one that boring. Criminal. Review.
So those are what I deem to have been the worst films of the year. Have you seen a film thats even worse than Nine Lives? Let me (and come kind of therapist) know in the comments.